Category Archives: Coaching

Press Release: BreakFree to a Happier Life

BreakFree to a Happier Life

31 December 2014


January 01, 2015

BreakFree in 2015 to a Happier Life
Achieve Your Goals with Group Coaching Sessions in Newcastle

Get the maximum benefits of working with a Personal Development Consultant as well as a having the chance to evolve alongside a dynamic group of people also seeking a similar outcome.

Newcastle Performance Coaching Limited are launching their new ‘BreakFree’ series of group coaching sessions in Newcastle. There is a wide variety of sessions available.

In addition to Goal Setting sessions for clients to set their 2015 goals they also run ‘Vision Board’ workshops where clients can create a visual representation of their goals for the year.

Also available are sessions for Finding Happiness, Developing Relationships, Building Confidence, Managing Stress, Mastering Work-Life Balance, Effective Decision Making.

As well as personal development sessions Newcastle Performance Coaching also a monthly Book Discussion group as well as a regular Friendship group; ideal for people new to the area or have found themselves wanting to get out more after their children have flown the nest or post divorce.

Head Coach Aly says “Not only do our clients come along to work on their goals but genuine friendships are often formed. Our clients will often return again and again as the sessions are great value and enjoyable.”

Regular coaching groups enable people to work on goals that help find that inner happiness, grow in confidence and shake of self limiting beliefs enabling them to embark upon new things.

Those in the group sessions learn what it’s like to shed those past experiences which may have held them back in life and approach living with gusto and variety. Many try out new hobbies, get out more with new found friends, develop fresh skills, as well as achieving dynamic personal growth.

The coaches also welcome clients to join them for social events in Newcastle whether it be for meal, a drink or a coffee – a great way to keep in touch with people they’ve met in the sessions and build new friendships – ideal for clients working on an improved social life or building confidence and are unsure where to start.

With the prospect of starting off 2015 on a better, more inspiring direction why wouldn’t you want to join in these great sessions and make 2015 your best year yet?

When you head along to any of the sessions you can expect a relaxed, informal small group of people, there is plenty of coffee and biscuits available – you’re very unlikely to see flip charts, Power Point Presentations or handouts – things are kept relaxed and enjoyable so people feel comfortable and able to get involved in the session. All you need to bring along is a pen, paper and open mind.

The focus of the 2015 Coaching Series is to ‘BreakFree’ from the norm – so come along and get involved – say goodbye to humdrum and mundane and say hello to a vibrant new life to make 2015 your best year yet.
Book into a sessions on Eventbrite, new sessions are added weekly,

The Coaching Hour

Come along and for our new Coaching Hour session, together we explore any ongoing challenges you may have and let’s see what solutions we can come up with.

This is not 1:1 coaching, every one who comes along can share their challenges whether it be Personal, Professional or Business and help others find solutions.

The £10 cost of the session includes a cup of tea or coffee.

Check our profile on Eventbrite and book a slot for our next available sessions.

Refreshments and materials are provided – please bring a pen and notepad if you like to take notes.

There are limited places available in all of our Coaching sessions to maximise the benefit to the attendees.

PrePayment essential.

Trainers/Facilitators … Newcastle Performance Coaching Limited

Meeting Location:

Room 1.3, West 15, Whickham View, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE15 6UN

Meeting room is on the first floor (please note there is no lift in the building)

We share the left entrance with the Princes Trust.

Overcoming Fear and Self Doubt workshop Newcastle upon Tyne

The Personal Development Cafe is both for those people new to personal development and for those already exploring coaching and neuro linguistic programing (NLP). The café sessions are designed to be informative, stimulating and compliment our other ‘Cafe’ workshops.
“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” Gandhi

As a member of the Personal Development Cafe part you will:

– Discover the benefits of using personal development techniques
– Learn tools for confidence, motivation & the power of your mind
– Gain an understanding of the science and behind personal development
– Feel motivated and supported by the group
– Progress to become the person you want to become

Café sessions are monthly and run for 2 hours. In a relaxed and informal setting the sessions will start with a coffee followed by “some food for thought” – an informative and stimulating talk. Then it’s time for “café chatter” to open up discussion. We finish with some “clearing up” and self-reflection which is for your eyes only.

You are welcome to “drop in” on individual café sessions, but you may find benefit from regular attendance.

No matter what your goals and dreams may be or at what level you are to achieving them. With consistent motivation, a deeper understanding of the power of your mind, good clear teaching, and a friendly group of people behind you, you will gain a deeper understanding and belief in yourself from which change will naturally develop.

In this session we will be looking at our Fear Factor – those values, beliefs and internal rules that hold us back from achieving those things that we say we want. Do you really want to achieve your goals or are you fearful in doing so that you won’t enjoy the associated change that comes with it?

Our fears can hold us back in so many ways whether it be Personal, Professional or Business success that we are seeking to achieve.

Refreshments and materials are provided – please bring a pen and notepad.

There are limited places available in the ‘Coaching Cafe sessions’ to maximise the benefit to the attendees.

PrePayment essential.

Trainers/Facilitators … Newcastle Performance Coaching Limited
Meeting Location:
Room 1.3, West 15, Whickham View, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE15 6UN
There are 3 front entrance doors – the one for this session is the LEFT door.
Meeting room is on the first floor. Please note there is no lift in the building.

Workshop date 18 October 2014 at 1:30 pm

Session lasts 2 hours

Book your ticket online:

Arrive NO LESS THAN 15 minutes before the start of the event so that you can get a tea/coffee and the session is not interrupted.
Bring along a printed copy of your Eventbrite ticket.
Ring the phone number provided on your ticket and someone will escort you to the training room.
Thank You

What is the Law of Attraction?

Have you heard about the Law of Attraction?

Maybe Cosmic Ordering?

Want to know more?  If you are based in the North East of England you can come along to our workshop this October where will be looking at the Law of Attraction and in particular what steps we can follow to attract those things to us whether it be personally, professionally or in our business.

You can book and pay for our workshops and other events here: … watch our for our great Early Bird deals 🙂

Check out our website and find out more about our workshops here:

‘Like’ us on Facebook:


This session is a great Introduction to the Law of Attraction. You can change your life by stop focusing on what you fear and what you don’t want. Instead start focusing on what you DO want. Your whole life can change if you learn how to apply the law of attraction.
We will look at the steps to take to successfully engage the Law of Attraction to attract Personal and Professional success. This is an interactive session in which members share their own knowledge, experience and success when engaging the Law of Attarction.
Whether you are new to the concept of engaging the Law of Attraction or if you have used it before this is a great informal session to meet other like minded people and take something positive from the session.

Further Information

Our workshops run from the offices of Newcastle Performance Coaching Limited, West Fifteen, Whickham View, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE15 6UN. The room is on the first floor and there is no lift in the building.

There is street parking outside, a carpark across the road. Public transport buses (please check timetable and route) 1, 30, 31, 38)

You are required to attend at least 15 minutes before the start of the session so that you find a seat, make a drink, meet other delates, get settled and so the session is not disrupted by late arrivals.

Refreshments and materials are provided – please bring along pen/pencil and paper if you would like to take notes.

There will be 1-15 people at the session (we don’t have a minimum number).

The format of our sessions vary between workshops, activities, presentations and discussions. All sessions are friendly, relaxed, informal and interactive. Everyone is welcome to contribute to the session.

Vision Board Workshop – December 2013

Vision Boards – A Great Tool to Start the New Year Focused and Excited!


Creating a Vision Board enables our mind to focus on the things that are important to us!


An example of how a cardboard Vision Board cou...
An example of how a cardboard Vision Board could look like (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Come along to this great workshop and create yours.


Your Vision Board can help you to


  • Clarify who you are, what you want or where you are going.
  • Get your new year off to a focused start.
  • Tap into your inner wisdom and create New Year goals.




What is a Vision Board?


A Vision Board is simply a collective name for a wide variety of inspirational project created created from pictures.


It could be about WHO we want to be or HOW we want our lives to be but it’s a visual representation of our goals and dreams—a powerful way to make our aspirations more tangible and attainable.


Vision Board
Vision Board (Photo credit: amypalko)


How do Vision Boards work?


Our minds can only hold about 7 pieces of information at any one time. And yet there are millions of pieces of information available to us at every moment (think about everything you can see/hear/feel for starters).


Just creating a vision board tells our mind what’s important to us.




Creating a Vision Board.


Choose some pictures, words, quotes that inspire or motivate you and then we organize them onto a big piece of paper, giving  it a title and date.


This is when we get creative, we’ll be using cardboard, scissors, coloured pens, glue and a supply of inspirational magazines to cut out pictures to create your Vision Board.


This workshop is not just about creating your Vision Board but as much about the people you meet and the sharing of goals and aspirations for the future with others.




We also run regular Law of Attraction Workshops – see our workshop for details.


Come along and get creative.


There is a charge payable for this event


  • £25 PDCNE members
  • £49 non-members
  • Refreshments (tea/coffee) are provided


Check out our website:


This workshop will be held in Newcastle upon Tyne – venue to be confirmed.









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How to Set and Achieve Your Goals

People set their goals differently, depending on their current situation, resources, physical capacity and other factors. Follow theses simple guidelines to be sure that your goals are

believable and achievable. Many people set their goals too high only to fall behind and become disappointed which soon leads to a lack of motivation and increased procrastination.  Check out these tips I have for you.

Be Specific

Goals need to be specific, this enables you to identify milestones and action steps which will keep you focused and on track.  Many people have goals to change career, get promoted, increase their wealth, improve their relationship etc.  These goals whilst typical for many are very vague and your mind may become confused about what you truly want. General descriptions do not have boundaries, so you always leave room for mistakes and compromise. If you want results that you can be proud of, be specific.

To be specific, you need to include the full details. Write down something like, “I want to get £125,000 by 5 October of this year.” or “It is 2 December 2010 and I am the key supervisor of the sales department.” Include the names, the position, the amount, the date and everything else needed to train your mind to start working towards that goal.

Be Measurable

Goals need to be measurable so that you can track your progress. To help record your progress and goals, you should include measurable details. For a career change, you could include details of the number of hours you’re working, the amount you’re earning, the staff you’re handling, etc. For a financial goal include details of the amount you want to have as a whole, the number of companies or businesses you own, your contact persons, etc. Always have things and items to be measured so you can understand how close you are to getting your goals. If your goal is to earn £100,000 a month, then you know you’re halfway there if you’re already bringing in £50,000 a month.

Being Attainable and Realistic

Only set goals that can possibly be achieved. If you set goals that are too high to accomplish, that you are almost setting yourself up to fail.  Ensure you only set objectives that you can reach within a given amount of time, provided the current resources and capabilities you have. Some examples of near impossible goals are doubling your salary overnight, getting a promotion higher than your boss’s position, etc. Some goals can be achieved faster compared to others if you have some strengths and skills to back these up. Always include a strategic plan for big objectives.


Set deadlines to achieve your goals or you may find yourself procrastinating and not achieving even  your milestones and action steps. Be specific when setting timelines and schedules. For all action steps set the exact time and date you will take action, what you will do and how you will do it.  For long-term goals which may take years to accomplish break them down into smaller achievable goals with deadlines. Finish every step in sequence to finally reach the biggest goal at the end.


Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Maximum Achievement: Strategies and Skills That Will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed by Brian Tracy

The Ultimate Goals Program: How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy (Nightingale Conant) by Brian Tracy

The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You are to Where You Want to be by Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer

Blind Spots: Achieve Success by Seeing What You Can’t See by Claudia Shelton

There’s Always a Way: How to Develop a Positive Mindset and Succeed in Business and Life by Tony Little

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Achieving Goals

You may believe that goals must have a definite timeline to achieve. In part, this is true, but there are ways which aid you to expedite the process. You can achieve bigger things by centering on the current job and getting it done, without any compromise. Here are some guidelines you may like to try.

Step One: Form a Team

Things can be accomplished more quickly if you rely on one another and delegate tasks accordingly. When creating a team, choose people you can trust and competent in the areas they are working on.  To get the results you want the team will need to be supervisedt. Consider creating a hierarchy or create pairs so that one can look out for the other, thereby saving you time when reviewing work.

Lead the team yourself and you the benefit of practicing your leadership skills. As time goes by tasks will be completed more quickly  as you have created an effective system that will provide a smoother flow in future jobs. Ensure you also get the right number of people for the job, you do not want too many to lead as this could waste precious time in the process.

Step Two: Find Shortcuts

Some goals actually have shortcuts that you can use to reach your outcome more quickly. I am not talking about quick fixes, but something which can help the entire system respond in a more conducive way, thereby boosting the process. For example, there are no short cuts to permanent weight loss, but you can do some techniques that will speed up the fat loss. To identify the best shortcuts, always stay updated with changes and developments in technology and professional programs. Stay connected in a network of people related to your goals. Join forums and undertake online training, attend seminars and take time to talk to experts.

Step Three: Extra Hours

Consistency, discipline and dedication always give you faster and better results. If you want to finish things faster, you may have to put in extra hours and work longer than the usual – at least in the short term. The more important thing is that you monitor your stress levels, take time to relax and give yourself sufficient time to rest. Overtime should also be well-planned as you cannot expect to work effectively beyond your usual time if you’re still tired the night before or do not have enough equipment to work with.

Prepare and strategize by coming up with small objectives and actions steps to be done in sequence. Having information prior to your overtime can help greatly and save you lots of idle time. You may also ask someone to work with you during overtime to accomplish more. Try to incorporate all the three steps above and see for yourself how much more you can boost the process.

Step Four: Work with a Coach

Working with a coach will help you set great goals, take time to identify the action steps required to reach your goal and break larger goals into milestones.  Your coach will keep you focused and on track so you should reach your goals sooner than you would had you not worked with a coach.  Obviously a coach will cost money however it can be a sound investment; consider what your goal is, the importance of getting to goal and the benefit to you to get there.  Only you can decide if it is worth the investment though often it is hard to put a value on working with a coach to increase your income, change your career, lose weight or save a relationship.

What is your goal and how important is it for you to reach it?

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Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals (Worksmart) by Susan B Wilson and Michael S Dobson

The Personal Success Handbook: Everything You Need to Be Successful by Curly Martin

The Personal Success Pocketbook (The Pocketbook) by Paul Hayden and Phil Hailstone

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Life Coaches Available For Online Coaching

by: Chee Lim

From time to time we get caught in a position, also known as a rut that is difficult to get out of. It is these ruts, which are very disparaging, that stop many from attaining lifelong goals. They typically begin with a specific occasion, which then recoils from everything else in ones life. However, with online coaching from a life coach, you are guaranteed to get back on your feet.

Anyone, from any walk of life; In fact, even high school students could benefit from the knowledge a life coach holds. Teacher, executive, business owner, or stay-at-home-mom; deep down we are all the same. We all function in the same manner, from motivation. What drives each of us is what differs.

Once you have contacted a life coach, they will work with you to figure out what drives you, where you want to go, and what has gotten in your way. The very first step is to figure out exactly what you want to do with your life. The key is focusing on the goals that will keep you driven and make you feel that you had a purpose for living.

The next step is even more fun. This is where you and your new life coach devise a plan to get you where you want to be. The greatest thing about this step is that it makes you think; it brings you back to reality. The reality is that you have a dream and it is now attainable with just a bit of effort. It is this effort that will get you closer and closer with each step you make.

This next step could be difficult, but your life coach will guide you through it. Your new life coach will work with you on ways to get around these obstacles. He or she will instruct you on removing all the others. You will probably run into one or two that cannot be removed. There are; however, many ways to work around permanent fixtures in your life. Your life coach will help you figure these out.

Your life coach will be there with you ever step of the way. They will guide you through your journey and party with you when you attain your goals. They will join you in a tear or a drink when you climb out of your rut and move forward with your life. They are your constant reminder of what motivates and drives you.

Finding a life coach may just be the best decision you have ever made. With the popularity and success of online coaching, you can rest assured that you life coach will be with you, every step of the way, regardless of where either of you are. Do not wait until you get stuck in that rut, move forward with your hopes and dreams now.

About the Author

Chee Lim is a multi-awards winning Senior Scientist at Imperial College and he is also an online tutor at ( He provides advice and coaching online on various subjects. You can read more about online coaching here


Contact me today for a free consultation on how coaching may help you.  Contact me by Skype (geordie-coach), email or text.  Check out my websites Personal Coaching and Business Coaching.  You may also be interested in my personal coaching online course which is being launched soon.  Sign up for information and check out the video at the launch page

Brilliant Life Coach: 10 Inspirational Steps to Transform Your Life

Life Coaching for Dummies

Brilliant Life: How to Live a Brilliant, Balanced Life

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Free Coaching for ME, CFS and FMS sufferers.

27/365: fractured reality/grace under pain
Image by kira.belle via Flickr

I am offering free coaching to sufferers of ME, CFS and Fibromyalgia.  Find out more in my other Blog.  Click Here.

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Women And Self Esteem

Self-esteem, as defined in the dictionary, is “pride in oneself; self-respect.”  All too often, young girls who lack self-esteem carry the same subjective view of themselves as they become adult women.  What tools can be used to develop pride, self-respect, and self-esteem?  One unique way is to utilize the services of a life coach.

A Personal Coach is someone who can be objective, who will work with you to find ways you can enhance your life, help you to build your self-esteem and self-respect in all areas of your life, mentor you when facing difficult decisions, and work with you to help you become the person you have always wanted to be.

Perhaps you are a person who feels you deserve nothing more than you already have, or too shy to confront issues on a daily basis.  Maybe you’ve become so negative in your thinking that you are sabotaging the very thing you want most in life – love, happiness, and respect.

Lack of self-esteem closes you to all of the possibilities in life.  You act differently, dress in no particular style, and avoid situations which make you uncomfortable.  You also may be stressed when confronted with new situations, as any type of change may be literally painful.  Lack of self-esteem may drive you to think only of others and put your hopes and dreams on the back burner because you feel it isn’t important.  Thus, you are not living for you, but in spite of you.

If you have low self-esteem and can’t find a way out, it’s time to take action and embrace the help and encouragement a personal coach can offer.  More often than not, a person with low self-esteem finds it difficult to believe there is someone out there who is completely objective and who cares about you.  While family members may tell you what they think you need to hear, the personal coach will tell you what is true and help you deal with the reality of that truth.

As a personal success coach I can help you find out

  • who you are as a person, a friend, a colleague, and a partner. 
  • help you to open up a world you never thought existed
  • help you to build a foundation upon which your life can be changed for the better
  • help you to become more self-confident at home, at work, in social settings, and in relationships
  • enable you to find meaning, focus, and direction. 

A Personal coach is analogous to that inner voice telling you to take a chance, realize your full potential, avoid negativity, and become empowered.

Why call upon my services to be your personal coach?  Because you are worthy, your life has meaning, and you do matter.  Listen to your inner voice and contact me today.

Further Reading

Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get on with Your Life by Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Somin

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Dr Melanie Fennell

Why Must You Bring Congruency Into Your Life?

When you look at your life, how do you feel about it? Does it appear to be chaotic, confusing, overwhelming at times? Or does it appear to be a unified, continuous, joyful whole, progressing triumphantly towards your life goals?

Most of us live somewhere between these two extremes. Some days we’re “on a roll”, full of confidence and unstoppable. Some days we just seem to be running round in circles, burning all our energy, full of doubt and apprehension and getting nowhere.

So how to we get to spend more time in unstoppable mode, building our self esteem?

One key thing that we need to do is to live our lives congruently…


Do you tend to compartmentalise your life – maybe you break it up so that your work life you do what has to be done to earn a living, in your home life you do what you enjoy and from time to time you try to make sense of it. And your health just gets a back seat 😦

Or maybe you break your life down in other ways – you’re this person to your family and another person to your friends, someone else to your boss and so on…

When you live this way life gets complicated and stressful. You are constantly rushing from A to B, juggling different balls, trying to be different people in different contexts – and what happens when inevitably when two compartments that you have so carefully created overlap – your family meets your friends or your boss!!! Very stressful.

Trying to maintain all these different compartments burns a tremendous amount of mental and even physical energy. When you spend too long in one of your compartments the others start to feel neglected and your only solution is work even harder to juggle all the balls and keep them all in the air. Inevitably one gets dropped, all too often it’s your health or your personal relationships, and then you have real problems.


Luckily there is a better way to live – make sure you live your life congruently.

What if you only had 1 ball to juggle instead of 10 – you’d have no problem keep it in the air would you? That would be so easy – you could do it confidently, your self esteem would rise as you mastered the skill and your could even learn a few fancy tricks:-).

Carrying that analogy over to your life then, congruency is simply the decision to stop compartmentalising your life and to start treating it as one unified whole. Making sure you live your life by one simple set of rules where everything fits together is the best form of mental self help.

It may well take you some time to rearrange yourself and your life to get into the state of congruency, but when you do, all the different areas of your life will fit together perfectly and mutually support each other. Your work will fit in with your own beliefs, your family and friends will fit together perfectly, your health and wealth will go hand in hand.


To some extent we are all living lives that are out of balance, so take the time today to think about your life – where are the fault lines? Where are the incongruencies? You may be a very lucky person and already have a well balanced life, but there is still room for improvement.

Then think about how you can rearrange things so that you can bring your life back into balance. What are the common themes and threads running through all areas that you can strengthen to make your life more congruent?

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Further Reading

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Why Would You Want To Use A Personal Coach?

Why use a Personal Coach? There are many personal coaches (aka Life coaches) around the world, you can get amazing results through working with a Personal Coach.  Here is a short article on Personal Coaching and situations that clients will come to Personal Coaches for.

Do you ever feel that:

* Your life is out of your control?
* You are not where you could be or want to be?
* You don’t really receive the recognition you deserve?
* You don’t feel safe and secure in your relationships?
* You are often overlooked and undermined?
* You have strong desire but lack belief in your ability or the future?
* You are working harder but can’t seem to make any progress?
* You are frustrated because you can’t seem to break through the barriers in your life
* You are settling for less because it is still better than what other people have?

Do you ever wish that:

* You could have more confidence to do the things you really want to?
* You had more self esteem to stand up for what you believe in?
* You could command respect from your colleagues?
* You could impress others when they meet you?
* You could communicate your ideas with ease?
* You could stand up and speak in public?

What if you could do the above and:

* Eliminate Stress, Fear and Anxiety?
* Reclaim your Health by losing weight, quitting smoking, or dealing with other addictions?
* Improve all of your Relationships?
* Develop your Confidence and Self Esteem?
* Have more control over your life?
* Understand why people see you the way they do?
* Learn how to avoid these problems in the future?

Would you be willing to take the action necessary to bring about these outcomes? Is it just a wish you have, or is it a real desire to change? Have you ever thought “I deserve the best I can get in life and will do whatever it takes to get the best” If you are ready to give yourself the best in life, then please read contact us.

By the way the basic componants of behaviour are:

Be(behaviour)= Feel+Wish+Do

Each of us has a differing capacity of each, some prefer The Feelings (emotions) , some perfer Doing ( action) and other the Wishing( thoughts) , each has a profound cost and pay off. It also determines how you show up in life! And the capacity with which you live it fully,completely without limits. Only to figure that most of the programming to your behaviour happened at an unconcious level before your were even aware it existed. The turth of the matter is, by becoming aware of it you can then do something about it, and one of the best ways is with your Personal Success Coach.

As a Personal Success Coach I can work closely with you as you work on your goals, working with a coach will enable you to reach your goals quicker than should you have worked alone.

Further Reading

Be Your Own Life Coach: How to Take Control of Your Life and Achieve Your Wildest Dreams by Fiona Harrold

Brilliant Life Coach: 10 Inspirational Steps to Transform Your Life by Annie Lionnet

Brilliant Life: How to Live a Brilliant, Balanced Life by Michael Heppell

Life Coaching for Dummies by Jeni Mumford

Life Coaching – Change you life in 7 days: Change Your Life in Seven Days by Eileen Mulligan

Transformational Life Coaching: Creating Limitless Opportunities for Yourself and Others by Cheri Carter-Scott and Lynn U Stewart

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Overcoming Fear and Worry

If you ask most people why they have not achieved their goals or the level of success they desire, they will usually respond with some automatic excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back.  Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry.  How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think?  Or you don’t think you have the time or money or both?  Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to succeed?

Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true.  But because it is our belief, it is our reality.  Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.


The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about.  Write in down.  Put in on paper, ideally use a small writing book to keep all your notes/writing together.  Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper.  What once seemed big in your mind will probably look small and insignificant on paper.

For the other half, you need to move on to step two.  Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true?  Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry.  Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome.  Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens?  Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen.  This list will help you see that.

Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen.  Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive.  Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again.  This will start to turn things around.

Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens.  Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around.  Focus on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears. You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING!  Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry.  Try this formula today and see if it will work for you.  It has worked for me.

Further Reading

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

The Promised Land: A Guide to Positive Thinking for Sufferers of Stress, Anxiety, and Depression by Dr. Rick Norris

Everyday Positive Thinking by Louise L. Hay

Positive Thinking: Everything You Have Always Known About Positive Thinking But Were Afraid to Put into Practice by Vera Peiffer

You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought: A Guide to Positive Thinking by John-Roger McWilliams and Peter McWilliams

Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula For Getting The Results You Want by Robert Anthony

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Work/Life Balance: Forming Healthy Habit

A habit is an action or series of actions that we perform in a subconscious manner. We don’t have to consciously think about doing these things, they seem to happen on their own. Habits can be good or bad, depending on how they enhance our quality of life, or detract from it.

Have you ever driven home or to work and then had no recollection of the ride? Or have you taken the wrong exit at a junction because it’s the one you usually take, when in fact you had intended to keep on to another exit? Our minds become conditioned to doing things in a certain way, simply because we have done them over and over again in that exact way. This can be a good thing, as it makes much of our daily routine somewhat effortless. Imagine having to focus intently on every little thing you did, like washing dishes or taking out the garbage. Sounds exhausting, doesn’t it?

However, negative actions can also become habits, and that makes them extremely difficult to change. How many times have you tried to adopt an exercise program, quit smoking, lose weight, or give up junk food? It takes between 21-30 days to form a new habit. This means you must perform your new actions repeatedly, day after day, for up to 30 days before your subconscious mind will begin to do them automatically. Until then it takes consistent effort and focus.

When trying to break a bad habit, it is usually helpful to substitute a good habit. Otherwise you’ll end up feeling restless and gravitate back to the bad habit again to fill the void. For example, when quitting smoking, take up gum chewing, exercise, deep breathing, knitting, etc. When the urge for a cigarette hits, you have other activities you can use to busy yourself. At first, the new habit may not seem like an adequate substitute (especially if nicotene withdrawal is part of the equation!), but with consistent reinforcement, your mind will begin to let go of the old habit of smoking and adopt the newer habits you have substituted.

When trying to adopt a new habit, such as exercise, you may need to place visible reminders at your desk, on the refrigerator door, or the bathroom mirror. Remember that your mind is accustomed to not thinking about exercise. It will take some focused attention to change that.

It is important to have patience with yourself as you work on changing your habits. Remember that they are habits because they are largely subconscious. As you focus your conscious mind repeatedly on your new actions, they will also become subconscious, just like the negative actions did. Print out this handy Habit Forming Chart and hang it up where you will see it everyday. It can serve as a great reminder for your goals, as well as show your progress from day to day.

Don’t beat yourself up if you have “failures” here and there as you work on forming new habits. No one is perfect, and you will probably have days where you don’t meet your goals. The most difficult aspect of forming new habits is becoming aware of the automatic actions we take each day, and making a conscious decision to change them.

Further reading

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Personal Workbook (Covey) by Stephen R. Covey

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The Hidden Value Of Setting Goals

Have you ever wondered how much control we actually have over our lives? The mind is continuously sending us messages to do this or that and our lack of awareness blindly follows its commands. These messages are generally self defeating because when the mind is in control it will always side with taking the easy option over the better one. Each time we attempt something new and give up because of the latest whim or passing fancy we give it more control and the cycle gets harder to break!

For most of us, our sense of self is derived from the contents of our mind. Memories of the past, future projection and the baggage we have accumulated are used to identify who we are. We have become separated from our true self by the way in which the mind manipulates time. We have identified with the tool and not the master. We are letting the mind run the show and the way we live is not helping us one bit.

Goal setting provides a mechanism through which we can break the mind’s control over our lives.

It is clear to most people that if you want to make a success of your life then setting personal goals is a must. Through setting goals we grow because our dreams tend to be bigger than we are now. To reach our targets we make a plan, overcome obstacles, do things we wouldn’t have otherwise done and if need be, go the extra mile. A life of drifting from one thing to the next turns into a life of direction. Success becomes less a game of chance, more a matter of time. But what of the hidden benefits of setting goals?

When we set goals and take the steps necessary to reach our targets we start to treat the mind more like a tool. Distractions become more noticeable because they take us away from our targets. When we become aware of this happening we can re-focus on the present activity and give it our full attention. This awareness can be used to get in touch with who we really are and break the hold the mind has over us.

The longer we can hold onto this awareness the less control we give to the mind. You see, the mind and time are inseparable. When we bring our attention into the present moment we are breaking the bonds of time and allowing the true self to take charge. The channel is now open for all the qualities of genius to come into our work. The mind simply cannot compare to what the true self can offer. The answers to our prayers are wrapped in the present.

Further Reading

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The 12 Commandments of Goal Setting

Many professionals have a basic idea of what they want to achieve in their careers. They may want to close more sales, earn a higher income, or move into a different job. Often though they do not achieve the success they desire. Why? Why is it that intelligent, motivated, hard-working individuals are not achieving the success they deserve? It is because they haven’t set clear goals.

They may have a general idea of what they want to accomplish, but the mind does not work effectively with generalities. If you want to earn a higher income and you earn one more dollar, have you achieved your goal? No, of course you haven’t. Because you were not specific about what you wanted to accomplish, your creative mind could not assist you in reaching your true objective.

In order to be effective, goals must be written down in the present tense using clear, specific, vivid words. For example, if your goal were to earn a salary of £50,000 per year, you would write. I now earn £50,000 per year in a job that is fulfilling and allows me to express myself creatively.

Completing the following steps will help you set goals effectively so you can achieve positive results in your career.

1. Decide what you want to accomplish. The goal should be very specific. If you want to close more sales, how many more sales do you want to close? What do you want your closing ratio to be? If you want to move into a different job, what are the characteristics of that job?

2. Determine a deadline for accomplishment. A goal must have a deadline. If you do not have a date on it, the goal is only a wish or a dream.

3. Determine that the goal is believable to you. You must feel that the goal can be realized. If you believe it is impossible to achieve, you will never take the action necessary to make the goal a reality.

4. Where are you now? Take a current inventory. You will never know how far you have to go if you don’t know where you already are.

5. What obstacles do you need to overcome? Is there something that may make it difficult to achieve your goal? Be aware of the obstacle so you can make plans to overcome it.

6. What knowledge will you need to acquire? Will you need to earn a professional designation or take certain courses? Will you need to research new markets?

7. What organizations and groups should you associate with? Are there certain groups of people that can make it easier for you to accomplish your goal? How can you become affiliated with them?

8. What are the benefits to you? Write down as many benefits as possible. The more benefits you can come up with, the more likely you will be to stick to the goal until it is achieved.

9. Develop an action plan. Determine the specific steps that will be necessary to achieve the goal. Start at the accomplishment of the goal and work backwards.

10. Visualise yourself accomplishing the goal. See yourself in clear detail as if you have already achieved the goal. If you want to close more sales, see yourself closing more sales easily. Do this over and over again until it becomes part of your subconscious mind.

11. Take daily action towards the goal. Dreams and goals require action. The best goal in the world will never materialize unless consistent action is taken.

12. Resolve to never quit. Decide that you will never give up, even when times get tough, until your goal is reached.

Taking the effort to complete the steps in goal setting is not easy. However, when you follow these steps, your success is almost assured.

Further reading

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Goal Mapping: How to Turn Your Dreams into Realities by Brian Mayne

Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals (Worksmart) by Susan B Wilson and Michael S Dobson

The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement by Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox

Setting Goals: Expert Solutions to Everyday Challenges (Pocket Mentor) by Harvard Business School Press

The Magic of Dreaming Big, How to Find Your Vision in Life

If you don’t dream big enough, you succeed in minor things. A sad fact of life is that people don’t live to achieve their fullest potential. Most of the time, the act of surviving consumes them. Earning enough to live a comfortable lifestyle takes up all their time. And in the end, they have yet to find meaning and fulfilment in their lives.

What’s wrong here? How is it that people who have a job, with  steady income and a comfortable lifestyle, can still find their lives lacking meaning and value? Why can they not be happy because they have money coming in; they can buy and do what they want?

Realising that achieving a life of fulfilment and happiness is not just about making tons of money, enjoying luxuries, and free time, all that is only part of it. The other part is what many people miss: It’s about realizing your life’s purpose and acting on it every day. This produces a passion that makes your life worth living. It frees your heart from the binds of meaningless routine work, and gives you a brighter future to look forward to. Everyday will be a new day, where you wake up and say, “This is a day to play!” And off you go, out to make tons of money and live the high life. But this time, you have a purpose in doing so, and that’s why you are happy.

So how do you realize your purpose? How do you know what you can be?   

Each of us is unique. Our personalities, desires, and life callings are different. I can’t tell you what your fullest potential is. The word ‘your’ implies that you must decide what fullest potential means to you – what is your soul’s calling? We all have innate potential or greatness that lies dormant within us, until we uncover it and nurture it. Note that I said ‘uncover’, not ‘discover’ because when you discover, it is something new and unknown. But when you uncover, it is realizing potential that has always been there.
To release your potential, you’ve got to have an idea of what it is. You need to have the big picture of your life clearly imagined in your mind. This vision gives you a destination, but doesn’t show you how to get there. That’s fine. We’ll draw our own road map later. Just being able to see this vision is already a major step to realizing your life’s purpose. So how do you get a vision? There are a few methods, and I will suggest some that have worked for me.

Ideas to Help You Find Your Vision

1. Personal Dreamtime
Take some time off, maybe in the evening or on the weekend for a comfortable moment of personal reflection. Put some soothing music into the CD player – the kind that relaxes you and frees your mind. Sit or lie down, your choice.
While you relax, begin by remembering the past. Start when you were young. What were your childhood dreams? What had you always wanted to become? Remember that.
Now, progress through your life as it has unfolded until the present time. Noticing how your dreams have changed. While you do so, feel with your heart for the dream that most inspires you and fills you with wonder. As if you would say, “That’s wonderful or that’s awesome!” This dream is a potential calling.

2. Keep a Record
Memory distorts over time. But you can see your life objectively if you keep a record of it. This record is essential to becoming aware of the big picture of your life as it unfolds everyday. Start a personal journal. Write down your thoughts before bedtime. Take note of what went well today, what you look forward to tomorrow, and what wish to dream about tonight. By steadily collecting your innermost thoughts, you can track your progress through life, seeing if any significant changes have occurred. And if so, for better or for worse?

Take photos of your friends, places you visit, yourself at your best and so on. Photos bring back vivid memories, and are accurate records of your life. If you use a digital camera, you might want to start a journal on your computer. Then you can add photos, video, and audio to your journal. You can also print out your nicely formatted journal to share with friends, or publish it on the Internet. 

3. Do a Numerological Analysis
Strangely, numerology is a good source of insight when it comes to realizing your purpose in life. The calculations for birth path, destiny number, and name analysis may uncover for you a purpose you had cast aside, but deep in your heart, known all your life. You might find yourself saying, “Hey that’s true… interesting!”
Free and Complete Numerology Reading:

4. Do a Personality Test
Take an MBTI test (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). You can find free tests on the Internet. Read more in “The Millionaire Code – 16 Paths to Wealth Building”, by Paul B. Farrell. It lists each of the 16 MBTI personalities, and how each personality type has built wealth using their own unique characteristics. Check it out!

Another option is a DISC profile.  The assessments classify four aspects of behavior by testing a person’s preferences in word associations, DISC is an acronym for:

  • Dominance – relating to control, power and assertiveness
  • Influence – relating to social situations and communication
  • Steadiness (submission in Marston’s time) – relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
  • Conscientiousness (or caution, compliance in Marston’s time) – relating to structure and organization

As with MBTI you can complete the assessment online.  Some coaches like myself also offer the DISC profiling to clients.

5 Keep a Record.  As you explore these methods, I suggest you keep a ‘life-purpose folder’. This could simply be a section in your journal, or a file by itself. In it, write down and compile everything about your life’s purpose. Try writing out a vision statement. List out your top ten life goals, and create a long list of what you enjoy doing. Think about how you can make a living doing what you enjoy. Once a month, make it a point to review what you have written. As you look over these precious details, you will gain an overview of your desires and aspirations.

Your life’s purpose will become clearer to you. But don’t stop there, keep collecting more insights. You can also add the readings from your personality test, your numerology test and descriptions of what you see in your dreams. All will help to bring you greater clarity and vision in your life.

Once you have an idea of what your purpose and passion could be, start it now! Even if it’s only in a small way… because experience is the greatest teacher. Your experience will tell you whether this is your life’s purpose. Does it ignite the passion in you? You need to try out your purpose and see if it fits! Think of a job you can volunteer for, or a special project you can start on your own. By starting it now, you are giving yourself the opportunity to experience living your purpose.

At the end of your life, you are going to look back on all that you’ve done. Your greatest achievements and your happiest moments. You want to be able to say, “Yes, I’ve lived a great life. I’m grateful for everything life has given me.” And to do that, you need to start now. Get that journal, do those tests, and write down those thoughts… because you’re getting older, and you need to uncover your purpose to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Recommended Reading List

Purpose-driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For? by Rick Warren

The Life You Were Born to Live: Finding Your Life Purpose by Dan Millman

A New Earth Unabridged 8CDs: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club) by Eckhart Tolle

Follow Your Heart: Finding a Purpose in Your Life and Work: Finding Purpose in Your Life and Work by Andrew Matthews

Living Your Unlived Life: Coping with Unrealized Dreams and Fulfilling Your Purpose in TheSecond Half of Life by Robert A. Johnson and Jerry Ruhl

A Time for Transformation: How to Waken to Your Souls’ Purpose and Claim Your Power by Diana Cooper

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The Difficulty with Setting Goals

A wise man once said that going through life without a purpose is like sailing without a compass, which is the essence of the human need for targets and goals. It is true that there are some people, even successful ones, that do not have clear goals and no foreseen targets and yet they are moderately successful, but the huge difference here is that while some successful people have no goals all the rest of the successful people certainly have a few clear goals.

Why is setting goals important? Well naturally the first thing to say about setting goals is that it is important just so you have a reason to get up in the morning, to start your day and set you going. Most successful people will tell you that a goal puts a lot of drive and ambition into ones life, adding a true feeling of passion about your goals and placing you in a mind set of readiness to achieve and to work hard at it.

Many people do not know how to find their goals, it doesn’t mean that they would never have goals or that they lack the motivation to create a goal from themselves, it is simply a question of imagination and self trust, or self confidence. Try and think of a successful, famous person, the biggest internet entrepreneurs or the space scientists at NASA, they clearly did not have any solid base to create their goals on, they had to imagine how a market will evolve or – even more simply a goal. When a person wants something, it is clear to him, kids used to say “I want to go to the moon” without considering the chances of actually making it to the moon, this is what they wanted, if you look at things this way you will be surprised to realize that the road to your goal is much more possible than what you first thought it was.

This brings me to the second part, believe, you must believe in yourself and in your goal for it to be a real goal. This is not a lottery ticket that you fill in and forget about it, a goal is something very demanding, you will need to focus on it and passionately involve yourself towards getting it almost every waking minute of your life, and once you achieved one goal you would probably move to a new one, because the moment you start living by goals you will not want to spend your time on anything less great than striving and achieving goals.

When you think of the goal try and imagine it as clearly as you can, the idea is to set clear goals just like walking towards a point in space, imagine that you are in the desert, there is nothing around you, no building no tress or body of water, as you walk you see something in the horizon, it looks like a tower, now you will walk as straight and as directly as you can possibly walk towards that tower – this is the perfect way to set a goal and start getting it.

One last important thing is that you have to keep working on the goal, finding paths that leads you to reaching it, and monitoring your advancement as you go, do not close your eyes and run towards the goal since you never know what’s on your way, trust your instincts and keep believing in yourself. You will need to work hard to get your goals but the good thing is that if you can dream it, you can make it real, this is the only thing you need to remember.

Recommended Reading

Goal Mapping: How to Turn Your Dreams into Realities by Brian Mayne

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

The Psychology of Achievement: Develop the Top Achiever’s Mindset by Brian Tracy (Nightingale Conant) by Brian Tracy

Coaching Skills Training Course: Your Toolkit to Coaching Yourself and Others with Exercises and Scripts by Kathryn Critchley and Margaret Greenhall

Tips For Successful Goal Setting

When we first begin working toward a goal, we are filled with passion, fire and excitement. We feel invincible and we just know that we can accomplish whatever we desire. We take off running toward our goal, determined to make it happen, and we know we CAN make it happen.

Then we begin to encounter some obstacles. We may struggle through a few of them, but then we begin making excuses for not working on our goals. Perhaps we lose interest and get overwhelmed with daily activities. Before we know it, our goal has been placed on the “back burner” and we are no longer working toward it. Worse, maybe we no longer believe that we CAN make our dreams a reality. What happened? In my own experience, there are four key ingredients to making your dreams come true.

Why? – What is your reason for wanting this particular goal? Let’s say your goal is to buy a house. Ask yourself why you want that. Your answer may be something along the lines of, “Because I want to own my own property rather than paying rent for the rest of my life.” Okay good. But why? What does it matter if you own your own property or pay rent? Your answer might now be, “Because I want to have the house paid off by the time I retire, so I don’t have to worry about paying rent or a mortgage payment on a fixed income.” Great! But why? What will that do for you? Keep asking yourself WHY, and writing down your answers until you get to the “meat” of your desire. Once you have a clear desire in mind . . .

Believe You Deserve It – many of us struggle with low self-esteem and at a core level, we don’t feel we deserve success and abundance. Guess what? If we don’t believe we deserve it, we will resist it when it arrives. We may do this unconsciously by sabotaging our own efforts, or we may outright refuse to even try. We must first understand and then truly believe that we DO deserve success and abundance. In addition, we must be willing to receive it. We’re so good at giving to others, but many of us won’t accept help or blessings for ourselves. We feel it is better to give than to receive, and in some ways it is. However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t receive at all. Be willing to believe that you deserve to be successful and happy. Then be willing to accept that abundance when it arrives. Affirm aloud to the universe each day, “I joyfully accept all of the abundance and happiness the universe has for me, NOW.”

Step by Step – If your goal is to buy a house, you likely have alot of smaller goals that must be accomplished first. You will need to build up a savings for the downpayment. You may need to clean up your credit report and pay down existing debt. You will need to see if you qualify for a mortgage loan. Always keep your ultimate goal in mind, but focus on the smaller steps that will get you there first. If I wanted to drive to California, I’d have to pay attention to the route I need to take to get there, not just the destination. Write out a list of the smaller steps that will help you reach your goal, and then begin working on them one at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking only of that big, shining vision of the completed project.

No Matter What – Decide that you will do this, no matter what. No matter what obstacles come up, no matter if your desire and determination begin to fade. True success comes to those who just won’t give up. Make a promise to yourself that you will continue working toward your goals no matter what happens. Write this promise out and put it somewhere you will see it. Read it aloud to yourself every single day.

Keep reminding yourself that nothing will change unless you change it. Fuel your determination with positive thoughts and keep moving forward. If obstacles come up, find a way around them. If there is absolutely no way around a particular obstacle, switch your focus and begin working on another aspect of your goals. Many times obstacles will fade away if given enough time, or sometimes a solution presents itself when we least expect it. Let your determination glow hot and bright, and burn away all doubts and fears. Know that you can do it, and you will.

Recommended Reading

Goal Mapping: How to Turn Your Dreams into Realities by Brian Mayne

Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals (Worksmart) by Susan B Wilson and Michael S Dobson

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Personal, Social and Emotional Development (Goals for the Foundation Stage) by Barbara J. Leach

My Cup Runneth Over: Setting Goals for Single Parents and Working Couples, a Practical Guide for Implementing Family Goals and Improving Co by Daryl D. Green

The Real Woman’s Personal Trainer: A Goal-by-goal Programme to Lose Fat, Tone Muscle, Perfect Posture and Boost Energy for Life by Sam Murphy

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The SMART Way to Set Goals

Goal setting is equal parts art and science. Many people create goals that simply don’t work. If you’re in business, you don’t have the luxury of creating goals that don’t work. You need to work effectively and you need goals you help you do it.

Here is a great way to create good goals that work… that keep you on track. They’re called SMART goals and the acronym SMART will help you to remember the things that each goal needs to be:

Specific: Your goal needs to be stated in a way that is clearly defined. Saying, I should work more, is not a goal that will be kept. However, saying, I am going to work a total of 8 hours each day, is a goal that is much clearer and specific.

Measurable: This is closely related to the above attribute except that it also includes a way to make sure you are on track. A goal that says, I want to make more money, isn’t measurable. However, a goal that says, I want to earn £6000/month, is a far more measurable goal. It’s easy to see, at the end of the month, whether or not you achieved it.

Actionable: This means that your goal should be something that you need to do yourself in order to accomplish it. If you want to increase your income this year, it’s not realistic to say, I’m going to win the lottery this year, because you have no control over whether you will win the lottery or not. However you might say, I’m going to increase my sales efforts by cold calling 10 people each day, which is something you can take action on yourself.

Realistic: Goals that are actually achievable are much better and far more motivating. You’ll feel better about yourself when you do hit goals than if constantly shoot for them and fall short. Realistic goals should not be so easy that you hit them every single time but should not be so hard that you never reach them at all.

Time-oriented: Similar to the measurable attribute, your goal should have a timeframe for you to accomplish it in. Deadlines help people achieve their goals. If you anchor your goal to a time, you’ll be able to watch your progress.

You can remember this with the acronym, SMART, so that when you’re creating goals, you can create better goals for yourself. This is a popular goal-setting acronym in business, although occasionally the words are changed slightly to reflect the needs of the business.

Recommended Reading

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Goal Mapping: How to Turn Your Dreams into Realities by Brian Mayne

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