Tag Archives: success

Overcoming Fear and Worry

If you ask most people why they have not achieved their goals or the level of success they desire, they will usually respond with some automatic excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back.  Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry.  How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think?  Or you don’t think you have the time or money or both?  Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to succeed?

Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true.  But because it is our belief, it is our reality.  Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.

Exercise

The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about.  Write in down.  Put in on paper, ideally use a small writing book to keep all your notes/writing together.  Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper.  What once seemed big in your mind will probably look small and insignificant on paper.

For the other half, you need to move on to step two.  Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true?  Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry.  Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome.  Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens?  Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen.  This list will help you see that.

Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen.  Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive.  Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again.  This will start to turn things around.

Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens.  Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around.  Focus on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears. You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING!  Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry.  Try this formula today and see if it will work for you.  It has worked for me.

Further Reading

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

The Promised Land: A Guide to Positive Thinking for Sufferers of Stress, Anxiety, and Depression by Dr. Rick Norris

Everyday Positive Thinking by Louise L. Hay

Positive Thinking: Everything You Have Always Known About Positive Thinking But Were Afraid to Put into Practice by Vera Peiffer

You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought: A Guide to Positive Thinking by John-Roger McWilliams and Peter McWilliams

Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula For Getting The Results You Want by Robert Anthony

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The 12 Commandments of Goal Setting

Many professionals have a basic idea of what they want to achieve in their careers. They may want to close more sales, earn a higher income, or move into a different job. Often though they do not achieve the success they desire. Why? Why is it that intelligent, motivated, hard-working individuals are not achieving the success they deserve? It is because they haven’t set clear goals.

They may have a general idea of what they want to accomplish, but the mind does not work effectively with generalities. If you want to earn a higher income and you earn one more dollar, have you achieved your goal? No, of course you haven’t. Because you were not specific about what you wanted to accomplish, your creative mind could not assist you in reaching your true objective.

In order to be effective, goals must be written down in the present tense using clear, specific, vivid words. For example, if your goal were to earn a salary of £50,000 per year, you would write. I now earn £50,000 per year in a job that is fulfilling and allows me to express myself creatively.

Completing the following steps will help you set goals effectively so you can achieve positive results in your career.

1. Decide what you want to accomplish. The goal should be very specific. If you want to close more sales, how many more sales do you want to close? What do you want your closing ratio to be? If you want to move into a different job, what are the characteristics of that job?

2. Determine a deadline for accomplishment. A goal must have a deadline. If you do not have a date on it, the goal is only a wish or a dream.

3. Determine that the goal is believable to you. You must feel that the goal can be realized. If you believe it is impossible to achieve, you will never take the action necessary to make the goal a reality.

4. Where are you now? Take a current inventory. You will never know how far you have to go if you don’t know where you already are.

5. What obstacles do you need to overcome? Is there something that may make it difficult to achieve your goal? Be aware of the obstacle so you can make plans to overcome it.

6. What knowledge will you need to acquire? Will you need to earn a professional designation or take certain courses? Will you need to research new markets?

7. What organizations and groups should you associate with? Are there certain groups of people that can make it easier for you to accomplish your goal? How can you become affiliated with them?

8. What are the benefits to you? Write down as many benefits as possible. The more benefits you can come up with, the more likely you will be to stick to the goal until it is achieved.

9. Develop an action plan. Determine the specific steps that will be necessary to achieve the goal. Start at the accomplishment of the goal and work backwards.

10. Visualise yourself accomplishing the goal. See yourself in clear detail as if you have already achieved the goal. If you want to close more sales, see yourself closing more sales easily. Do this over and over again until it becomes part of your subconscious mind.

11. Take daily action towards the goal. Dreams and goals require action. The best goal in the world will never materialize unless consistent action is taken.

12. Resolve to never quit. Decide that you will never give up, even when times get tough, until your goal is reached.

Taking the effort to complete the steps in goal setting is not easy. However, when you follow these steps, your success is almost assured.

Further reading

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want – Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

Goal Mapping: How to Turn Your Dreams into Realities by Brian Mayne

Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals (Worksmart) by Susan B Wilson and Michael S Dobson

The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement by Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox

Setting Goals: Expert Solutions to Everyday Challenges (Pocket Mentor) by Harvard Business School Press

Using The Law Of Attraction With Goals

Many people think there is a conflict between the Law of Attraction, as taught in “The Secret” and goal-setting. The belief that you should let the Universe decide how to bring you your goal seems to conflict with planning your goal strategy. However, these two approaches are compatible. Let me explain.

A great majority of people believe that it is wrong to be too specific when they set goals. After viewing films like “The Secret”, which is wonderful and enlightening, some people have the false belief that being specific is the wrong approach. Many teachers in this movie guide you towards allowing the Universe to decide how you get what you want. So if we follow this approach how does setting a goal, complete with a plan for its attainment, fit into this attraction process?

Well, anyone who has achieved an objective through traditional goal-setting methods is well aware that including specific details is the key to its attainment. They fully realize that being as specific as you can increases the likelihood of achieving your goal. These specifics should include completion date, a plan to follow that will lead to the achievement of the goal, stepping stone goals and highly specific details of the goal itself. For example, you may set a goal to have an increase in turn-over of $10,000 by the end of the quarter. You immediately devise a plan to increase sales and begin to build your goal steps by setting smaller goals that will lead to bigger goals that will lead to the attainment of your desired outcome. So how does this fit into ‘The Universe knows the best way’ approach offered by most law of attraction experts?

Well it’s really very simple. When these teachers talk of not getting caught up in the specifics they do not mean the goal itself. They are referring to the delivery method of the goal. The Law of Attraction is always responding to your personal vibration. Your vibration is affected by what you think and how you feel. So if you get specific in your goal and even set time-limits for specific tasks then the Law of Attraction is responding to those thoughts and the feelings associated with them. By staying focused on the specifics your desired outcome and feeling very positive emotions about it and the attainment of it, you are adding tremendous power to the workings of the Law of Attraction. As long as you don’t feel negative about your goal, or the plan you have devised, goal-setting like this can be very powerful.

However, if you set your aims too high, or make your goals unrealistic, then the Law of Attraction will work against you! You feel overwhelmed, doubtful and stressed. The Law will respond to this and your attraction vibration will be the opposite of what you want. By over-stretching yourself you will get negative thoughts and feelings about your goal. But by setting realistic goals, that do still stretch you, you can fully utilize the Law of Attraction to your advantage.

One key element of the Law of Attraction is that you always get more of what you focus on. Placing your attention on certain things consistently makes them grow and expand. So, by setting goals and working a plan to achieve it you are actually focusing your energy, thoughts and emotions towards that of the desired objective. By having set time-limits for the achievement of each step of your goal and the goal itself your thoughts, energy and feelings are also focused in that direction. Thus you are following one of the fundamental rules of the Law of Attraction – what you put our attention on expands. However, don’t get caught up on the one channel of distribution. Be open to the universe bringing you your goal any way it sees fit! You can still be specific about your plan but remain flexible and look for other opportunities.

The key is to always remain focused on the goal itself and not on the lack of it! You must also ensure you do not get frustrated if it appears that you may not reach your goal in the time-limit you specified. These are draw-backs of goal-setting as far as the Law of Attraction is concerned. However, they can be over-come.

Set realistic easily managed goals at first. Once you become proficient at goal-achievement you can start to stretch yourself a little more each time. As you begin to see overwhelming evidence that the Law of Attraction exists and that it is working in your favour you will be able to set you goals higher and bigger until there is nothing you cannot achieve.

Remember that when you reach for a goal to generate as much positive thoughts and feelings you can as they will ad power to your efforts through the Law of Attraction thus attracting more and more things to you that will get you closer and closer to your objective, until finally it falls in your lap!

Further Reading

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne

The Vortex: Where The Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships (Teachings of Abraham) by Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks

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Why The Laws Of Persuasion Work

Why The Laws Of Persuasion Work

As the species whose thinking ability supposedly separates us from the animals, we really don’t spend much of our life reasoning.  Most of the time our minds seem to get stuck on cruise control. Thinking takes up too much time and requires too much energy. Imagine having to think about every decision we make. It wouldn’t leave us much time to accomplish anything else, would it?

Most of us have a systematic way of looking at the world. When this mode is operating, our minds are perfectly primed to automatically respond to persuasion triggers. I call these triggers the Laws of Persuasion.

The Laws of Persuasion operate below our conscious thoughts. When employed properly, your prospects don’t even realize you’re using them. On the other hand, if you blunder your way through a persuasion situation, your audience will be totally aware of what you’re doing. It’s like seeing a police car on the side of the road–it jars us back to reality. If the persuader is skilled, he or she will use the Laws of Persuasion so the message is delivered below the radar.

Understanding the Laws of Persuasion involves understanding the human psyche. Such knowledge empowers you to improve your persuasive abilities. It magnifies your effectiveness in relationships, improves your parenting skills, enhances your leadership ability, and helps you sell yourself and your ideas. In short, it maximizes your influence.

In his book Triggers, Joseph Sugarman estimates that 95 percent of the reasoning behind a consumer’s purchase is associated with a subconscious decision. In other words, most buying is done for reasons a person hasn’t even fully formulated. Dr. Gregory Neidert estimates that our brains actually run on idle 90 to 95 percent of the time. Let’s face it, thinking is hard work. It is human nature to conserve cognitive energy. Thinking burns three times as many calories as watching TV. Those who use their brains for a living have traditionally been among the highest paid professionals. Consider the incomes for doctors, lawyers, and engineers, just to name a few. Most of us feel we don’t have the time or even the desire to think on the level that these professionals do each day.

What are the main reasons we choose not to think? First, sometimes the amount of information available is so overwhelming we don’t even attempt to digest any of it. Sometimes our decisions simply aren’t weighty enough to warrant the effort of researching all the available information. Consciously and subconsciously, from the bombardment of information we receive, we selectively choose what we will acknowledge and what we will ignore.

Whether we realize it or not, we love shortcuts to thinking. When we buy an item, we don’t always take the time to research the product or read the latest consumer guide’s ratings on the product. Instead, we often rely on the salesperson’s advice. We might just buy the most popular brand, or we might bring a friend along for his opinion. Although we would never admit it, we sometimes even buy an item just because of its color or packaging. Certainly we know this is not the best way to make decisions, but we all do it anyway, even when we know we might make a mistake or feel regretful afterwards. If we thoroughly considered every single decision, we would constantly be overwhelmed and we’d never get anything done.

Recall a situation where you where persuaded or acted without thinking?

The Laws of Persuasion are so powerful because they capitalize on two very predictable things: one, what we expect from human nature, and two, how people will respond in certain situations. People react predictably under a given set of circumstances. If we learn to recognize how the Laws of Persuasion work, we will know how to use them in our interactions with others. We will also become more aware of how others will attempt to use them on us.

There are two paths to persuasion: the conscious and the subconscious. Both paths can persuade others to your way of thinking, but each path uses a very different means of processing information.

In the conscious path, both you and your audience make an active or conscious attempt to understand, define, and process an argument. A person who is interested in your persuasive attempts will be highly motivated to listen. As such, she will also be able to consciously evaluate your message by carefully weighing the pros and cons of the evidence you present.

On the subconscious path, the listener spends little or no time processing the information. This approach results in those automatic triggers we previously talked about. These knee-jerk reactions happen when you follow your intuition or use a mental shortcut. Your mind reaches a decision without doing any logical processing. These subconscious decisions are largely driven by instinct and emotion. Individuals who spend lots of time on the subconscious path do so because they lack the time, motivation, desire, or ability to really listen to your message. They’re not really involved in the subject. They use their instinct or emotions instead of their intellect. Passive processing and automatic decision triggers rule their decision making.

Our minds are programmed with automatic persuasion triggers. Most of us experience persuasive situations without realizing or thinking about it. Master Persuaders know what these triggers are and how to utilize them to their advantage. Understanding the Laws of Persuasion helps us become aware of how we are influenced without having conscious knowledge of it.

Learning to influence and persuade takes time, skill, and experience. What most people don’t realize is that we already instinctively use many of these laws in our daily communications. The same Laws of Persuasion that we unknowingly use every day are the very same ones Master Persuaders use deliberately, consciously, and consistently. Master Persuaders make persuasion a habit. Think about how conscientious you were when you first started driving. Now, after years of practice, driving a car doesn’t require as much thought or focus. Master Persuaders understand the rules of persuasion and practice them constantly. They can apply the techniques subconsciously, without even thinking about them. For them, the application of persuasion has become second nature.

Application Questions

1. Why do you think most decisions are made on a subconscious level?

2. Can you think of a time when you bought something and rationalized it later with conscious thought?

3. How can you use this information to benefit you in your ability to persuade?

Recommended Reading – click on the images for more information.


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Goal Setting Basics

Goal Setting Basics

“Man is a goal-seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals.” Aristotle

Millions of words have been written about goal setting, then again millions of people set goal but despite this goals set by most people remain unfulfilled. Lets look at some of the key essentials of successful goal setting.

Follow these when setting you goal, stay focused and on track when taking action towards your goal and you will succeed.

Your goals must be:

  1. Original
  2. Inspirational
  3. Harmonious
  4. Realistic
  5. Idealistic
  6. Specific
  7. Adaptable
  8. Visualized
  9. Affirmed
  10. Time related
  11. Written down


Goals must be original.
Making your goal original does not mean that it cannot be the same or similar to the goals that others may have; it means that they must be yours, not secondhand. Many people set goals according to the hopes and expectations that they have been programmed to have by parents, teachers, peers, society or cultural norms.  For example, a goal of training to be a doctors as it is your parents wishes when really you want to be a vet, solicitor or in another career of choice. 

As a consequence you will not own these goals. You cannot generally have or hold what is not yours or even if you do manage to keep it, it will not have any value or meaning to you. What’s the point then of having it? The real reason you set and hope to achieve goals is not just to have the thing, it is to be happy and fulfilled in the accomplishment.

Set goals that are yours; not inherited or assumed. If they are not your own original goals, even if you manage to accomplish them, it will mean very little to you. Why waste your life pursuing something that will end up as meaningless?


Goals must be inspirational.

Your goal must arouse your passion, it should get you excited at the thought of successful reaching goal. This must be a consuming passion, not some whim or ‘someday I’d like to’ feeling. You must desire passionately to achieve what you set as a goal. It must drive you to action and you must feel fulfilled in that action because you know that it is leading to the fulfillment of your goal.

It is passion that drives you to move continuously toward your goal. It is passion that keeps you from getting distracted. It is passion that keeps you from getting discouraged. It is passion that fuels your motivation. It is passion that draws others to you to assist in your goals. It is passion that inspires you and others. It is passion that lights your way through the darkness that you will find along the way.

Get passionate about your goals or get passionate about someone else’s. Life without passion is not a life; it is merely an existence.

Goals must be harmonious.
Obviously, you cannot have conflicting goals in life or you will be conflicted. That’s the easy part. Your goals, however, must also be in harmony with your core beliefs and your self-assigned purpose in life.

It is easy to understand that to having conflicting goals will raise your stress levels and frustrate you. Yet, people do that to themselves all the time.

It is not so easy to understand that you may have some deep set unconscious game plan for your life (whether from some basic spiritual urge or from some sense of undefined purpose) and the goals you set may actually be in conflict with that real, but hidden, game plan.

First, decide who you are and what you are here to do and then set your goals in alignment with that; or you, yourself, on a subconscious or super conscious level will continually be sabotaging your goals.

Goals must be realistic.
There is not much point in setting a goal to personally live on Mars, if you are today over 95. The goals you set for yourself must be achievable within the framework of what is humanly possible.

But (and this is important) realistic does not mean what the majority commonly accepts as realistic. Most people did not think that it was realistic to attempt to fly a bicycle with wings and a motor attached, but two brothers named Wright did. Most people did not think it was realistic to build a personal computer for people to use in their home, but two guys named Steve did.

These 4 guys changed reality for all of us. Their goals were obviously, in retrospect, quite realistic. Don’t let your imagination be hemmed in by the crowd. Find out who are the ground breakers and inspiring people who have achieved in the area of which you are setting your goals, see if their story inspires you and if there is anything you can learn from them.

Goals must be idealistic.
In two ways—they must involve your personal ideals in the five mentioned areas of your life and they must be progressively higher or further ahead than you are at now.

If your goals are not in tune with your ideals, you will be conflicted. Most people are, in some way, in conflict with the different aspects of self, which is often why those goal setters are unhappy and why they do not achieve their highest potential. Consider the following when setting your goal and make it in harmony with your ideals:

  • Material and Financial (£££’s & Material Possessions);
  • Physical and Environmental (Health of body, home and world);
  • Emotional and Relationship (Happiness, Love, Social contact);
  • Mental and Educational (Learning, Awareness, Self-knowledge);
  • Spiritual and Ethical (Unity, Life purpose, Values, Sacredness).

If your goals are not idealistic (in the sense that they are progressive), you will get bored and unsatisfied. People (those who don’t understand) often wonder why those who are already extremely wealthy continue to pursue more wealth. It is because the ideal is always being extended or raised. Great achievers don’t rest on their laurels. Each goal achieved is merely a stepping-stone to more and greater achievement. It is not the end in itself.


Goals must be specific.

Goals like “I want to be rich” are not worth the paper they are printed on. Rich must be defined. £1m in the bank might mean rich to most people but not to others. It is the same for more generic goals. ‘I want to be happy’ means nothing. happiness must be defined just as rich must be defined. I want to be spiritually fulfilled is the same … if you want it, define it.

What does wealthy mean to you? No sure?  What does happiness mean to you? Don’t know exactly? Then how on earth will you ever even know if you get there? I have met a lot of people who say that they are on a spiritual path. I like to ask where that path is leading. Most can’t say anything specific. If your destination is not defined, how in heaven’s name will you know if and when you get there?  Just like using a Sat Nav, they require you enter a postcode or full address of your destination.  The same principles apply to setting goals make sure that it is a clear and unambigious as possible.

Goals must be adaptable.
Just because you have set your goal does not mean that it is set in stone, review it and if at any time it appears to no longer be exactly what you want then amend it, make it more inspiring, more appropriate, whatever is necessary to keep you on track.  Many people miss the better fulfillment of a goal because their focus on the one they had originally visualized is too intense and narrow to recognize the better one when it shows up.

Be sure that you are focused on the best possible fulfillment of your goal, not just on the method that you foresaw that goal fulfillment happening.

Goals must be visualized.
If you cannot see it as real and as true and as a part of the way you live your life…it will not happen.

Many folks, when confronted with some seemingly outrageous possibility or goal, will comment, ‘I’ll believe it when I see it made real, not just some imaginary ideal.’ The dreamers, schemers and achievers of history all had a different approach…’I see it. I believe it. It is real if it exists in my imagination.’

Tiger Woods ‘sees’ his shots landing on the green a few feet from the cup before he takes the shot. The average golfer looks up (usually too soon) from his shot to see where it went. Guess whose shots end up where most often. Visualize the reality in your imagination and it will become real in your manifestation.

Goals must be affirmed.
You must tell yourself all day, every day, in your constant conscious and subconscious self-talk that your goal is real and achievable. AND, you must tell others what your goal is so that they can ‘buy into it’ and contribute to it. If you don’t believe in it enough to make it a part of your daily conversation and are not passionate enough about it to be compelled to talk about it to yourself and others, it is NOT real for you and it will NOT become real.

You will be surrounded by people who will not support or encourage you, they may even scoff at your goal. Someone must speak the truth of the reality of your goal. That is your 24/7 job. Constantly affirm where you are headed and why. You’ll end up not only convincing yourself but the world as well.

Goals must be time related.
Everything exists in space and time. If something is not defined precisely in space and time, it does not exist. A goal of someday, I’d like to be financially secure, or someday, I’d like to climb that mountain does not, and it is highly likely that it WILL NOT ever, exist as anything other than nebulous wishful thinking. You must set specific times for your goals to be made manifest OR you will be forever going towards you goals and never quite reaching them.

Almost everyone in developed countries sets the goal of retirement in financial security, but the overwhelming do NOT achieve that. Why? One of the reasons is that it is always a ‘someday’ goal not a ‘by June 21st 2012’ goal. Of course, it is also likely that these people are also not applying the other rules of effective goal setting.


Goals must be written down.

If it exists only in your head, it is only wishful thinking. This is the basic, proven by experience, truth of the matter…95% of people who have specific written goals, accomplish them; and 95% of people who have unwritten goals (specific or not) do not.

If you can read that sentence and not begin immediately to write down your goals, you might as well resign yourself to the fact that you will not accomplish what you imagine you want to be, do and have in life.

OK, there are those few high achievers who manage to set clear distinct goals without writing them down and also manage to stay focused on them for their entire lives. Don’t kid yourself…you are not one of those people. I’ll prove it to you. Contact me (or anyone) right now exactly, specifically and in full detail what goals you held 1,000 days ago.

“Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage,
but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal.”
Elbert Hubbard

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